I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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