what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Randomize
