Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
