Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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