I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
