No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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