YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
And then he peed in my hair
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