the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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