is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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