Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
