CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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