I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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