we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Less talking, more tequila
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
