Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You are a genius and a whore.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
