"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
