question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
