you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
