it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
