it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
