There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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