Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
