She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
