Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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