based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
