just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
