have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I am midnight drunk by noon
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
