OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
