69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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