Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
