You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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