Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
