foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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