i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize