do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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