I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
