wat bout pragnant strippers??
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
