I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
