Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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