So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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