i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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