Pappa wants mamma naked
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Fuck appropriateness.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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