drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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