i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
