after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
