Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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