Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
