I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
