he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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