Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
