that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
